The people you live with see a different side of you than anyone else. They see you at your worst, they see you at your best, and if you’re like me then they see you in your pajamas an absurd amount of time. Seriously, some times I change out of one pair of pajamas and directly into another.
But regardless of the good, the bad, and the ugly [pajamas], they choose to love you anyways. Choosing to love the people you live with is not always an easy task, no matter how great those people are.
It’s so easy to grow impatient and frustrated with the people we are surrounded with and we often take our anger out on those we are closest to. Each day you have to wake up and make the decision to love them, to be patient with them, and to grant them the same grace you want for yourself.
Finding peace with your roommates is vital whether you’re a freshman in college getting your first roommate or have been married to your roommate (A.K.A. your spouse) for the past 50 years. Here are just a few of the lessons I’ve learned from my two amazing roommates.
Two years ago Brooke invited me to go to church with her. We knew each other through our sorority and campus ministry, but this day is truly when our friendship began to grow after she asked me to be her roommate.
I think the biggest struggle we faced was learning how to constantly be around each other. We not only lived together but we went to church together, class together, bible study together, our sorority events together, and hung out with all of the same friends.
We would joke about how other people treated us like an old married couple, but we did struggle with learning how to be our own individual people.
At the beginning of our friendship when we would go places it felt like we always had to stay planted next to each other. We were linked at the hip, and while I know we both enjoyed getting to spend that time together, we have definitely both become our own individual people. We are able to go off and do our own thing, and still share in all of the highs and lows of life together.
Another lesson I’ve learned from living with Brooke is how to compromise. Sharing the same space requires that you agree on a lot of things. For example, a few months into living together Brooke made the decision to go toxin free.
At the time I didn’t agree that we needed to throw out all of our candles, cleaning supplies, and anything else with toxins. But afterwards I saw so much truth in everything Brooke had been telling me about the effects of toxins.
Brooke has taught me so much about how to be a good roommate and care for the people you live with. We were friends before we were roommates and I am so happy that we’ve been able to continue to pour into that friendship.
Emily moved in with Brooke and I over the summer and changed our dynamic duo into a terrific trio. At first I was worried a trio wouldn’t work quite as well.
Growing up my mom never let me have sleepovers with three people. She always said that with an odd number someone always winds up feeling left out. But we have done a great job of balancing our time with each other.
Emily is a great addition, and not just because she watches all of the same cheesy kids TV shows, laughs at all of my jokes, and lets us split the bills three ways instead of two. She has a sparkling personality and has made us set aside more intentional time together.
With three people it is hard to find time when we’re all together and at home, so we intentionally plan time when we want to have dinner together or a movie night. I love that we are able to do this.
The biggest lesson I have learned from my amazing roommates has been learning how to love one another more. Instead of allowing myself to grow frustrated over silly little things like dishes or taking the trash out I remind myself that it is just another way to show them I love them.
Everyday God is teaching us new ways to learn to love the people we live with. We may run into obstacles and things that upset us, but these are really just new opportunities to love them more.
A great way to continue to grow in love instead of allowing any annoyances to fester is to bring them to God. Avoid gossiping or talking to other people about it, and instead bring it to God and pray that He would help you love them more.
Roommates shape you. Roommates teach you that life isn’t all about you. Roommates are such a great blessing and I am so thankful for mine and for all that they have taught me.